Kieran 2.0: Day 12

Today wasn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. I had the day off, not because of the snow but because I actually just had the day off. I honestly didn't do anything. I woke up around 11:30 and stayed in bed most the day. I had to call Sallie Mae today and I was trying to put it off as long as I could. I got a call from my buddy Demetrius and it was pretty cool to hear from him since it's been a while since we've talked. We talked about pretty much the same thing I blog about, money, school and hanging out. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this whole real world worry thing, seeing as pretty much all my friends have the same worries. I just wish we could all band together somehow. Demetrius came up with the idea of us making short comic strips and I think it's a pretty cool idea. I'm thinking of ideas and I'm going to try to make one comic for every post I do, just so I can make sure I keep drawing everyday.

I did end up calling Sallie Mae today but I didn't get anything done until after 8 PM. I called around 2 but they had some problems that led me to getting hung up on and redirected to an infinite loop on the phone menu. I finally got through after over a half an hour and they told me to call back in a half an hour. I called back at 8. I was ridiculously nervous because all I could think of was what if I don't qualify to postpone my loans. When I deal with financial aid type stuff I get overly nervous because I don't know what's going on half the time. It's kind of funny though because while I was in school I had to do all my financial aid stuff myself because my adviser was a useless bitch named Alicia McGregor. She did everything in her power to do as little as possible and be as rude as anyone could be. By the way I have no problem naming her because if you have her as your adviser, do yourself a favor and switch. She's completely incompetent and doesn't get anything done unless you yell in her stupid face.

I was on the phone for about 3o minutes but I ended up postponing my loans for a low price of $150. It seems whenever I do a budget, some random crap comes up that f's my budget in the a. I have a bunch of other bills to pay also and by the time they're done, I should have about $50 to last me until my next check. I feel like I have a job for no reason because the money I make isn't even enough to pay all my bills. I know I'm not the only person with this but I have so much debt that I wonder if I'll ever have a real life one day. I try to keep positive, but unless I hit it rich, I'm going to be paying out the ass for the next hundred years. I know that it's posible to become rich but I always wonder where I start from.

I know I have good ideas, but all I hear are horror stories about how people get ideas stolen, and how corporate people only look at if they can sell toys and merchandise of the idea. I want so badly to make something big that it's all I ever think about. I wish I could just get a break and get out there but I just don't know how. I'm looking into business of animation, and I'm hoping that when we pitch the project I'm in now, I will get some experience in how to pitch ideas.

I've been working on an animation project for a few months now and I like where it's going but I'm unsure of what's going on at the moment with it. I just hope it all works out well because I put a lot of things on hold for it and got this crap job to support myself while I work on it. I'm hoping that it'll be the break I'm looking for because it could give me the experience and knowledge I need to go further with my own things as well. I'm also hoping that if it takes off, it'll mean that I can focus on it as my main job.

I wish I could say that the forbearance put my mind at ease, but it's only a quick fix. I know I can find something, and I know I will, but it's hard staying positive in such uncertainty. I'll have to sacrifice a lot and really work hard, but this is exactly what I need to get this shit going. Good night and thanks for reading.

-Kieran