I checked my schedule today for the week and my hours were cut like last week. I was told this is only temporary because of the new hires but I feel nervous anyway about it. I'm hoping I can save the money to get to go to Ireland this year but it's been tight lately. I haven't seen any family there in many years. To be honest, it'll be like meeting them all for the first time again it's been so long. I just hope it happens.
When I started this blog the goals I set seemed hard to obtain but within reach and I was confident I could do it. Now I wonder if I'll ever find a good job. I wonder about where I'll be and it's never optimistic. I need to think more positively I know, but I'm usually a very positive guy and it's hard when faced with so much debt, a shaky financial status, and a dead end job. I want a lot more and I need a lot more, but I wonder I'll ever achieve it.
Today I sat down to draw and it felt like a chore. I love drawing, I do it all the time but I feel like I have no energy sometimes. I sat for hours trying to draw and came up with only two drawings that I felt good about. I hate that feeling because it's how I felt in Ai, trying to push myself to create something great but all that comes out is shit. I just don;t know today. I'm off to work tomorrow, and after that to Fico's place so I'll have more tomorrow. For now I'm going to relax and have a bite to eat. Sorry about the negativity tonight but I needed to vent. Good night.