Friday, December 31, 2010

Kieran 2.0 Day: 0 (Installing Software)

Hey, my name is Kieran Fallon and I’m a 24 year old art school graduate. I used to have a bunch of blog entries on this of my art work and other things that nobody read, so I’m hoping this will be different. I’ve decided to start a completely new blog, erase all of my entries and commit to making one entry a day. The purpose of this blog will be to document my life and hopefully change the path my life is going in for the better.

In the middle of 2010, I graduated from the Art Institute of Philadelphia with very little faith in myself and a completely broken spirit. I hate to admit it but certain teachers took something I loved and turned it into a huge open wound. I couldn’t bring myself to animate or really even draw for about two months. All their words echoed in my head, I had no confidence. I can’t believe I let them get to me, but they did. I thought of myself as a talent less loser who wasted over a hundred thousand dollars.

I struggled until October, when I finally landed a job. I thought my troubles were over, and I would finally be able to stop worrying about my debt and how I’m going to pay back my loans. While I have become a bit more financially stable, a sense of emptiness replaced the money worries. Now I have money, but I’m a 23 year old college graduate working at a kiosk in a mall for most of my waking hours.

I spend 3 hours commuting to work everyday on Septa. It completely sucks. I spend the time coming up with ides that I want to work on and ultimately never get to. I have thought of several cartoons and even an idea for a comic and have yet to even work one minute on any of them. At work I would tell people about the projects I was working on, mainly to try to convince myself that I was on the right track, but I couldn’t. I felt like a liar.

On December 14, 2010 I turned 24. It was something that I didn’t really know how to handle because when I was 18 I though I’d have everything figured out by now. I spent the day mostly by myself because all my friends were at work. I sat around all day, thinking about how completely unsatisfied I am with my life, and how I wasn’t doing anything about it. I’m one year away from being a quarter century old, and I had nothing great to show for it. I decided that 2011 would be different.

I came up with the idea of this blog when I was lying in bed thinking. I want to document my life for an entire year and hopefully change the way my life is lived for the better. I want to make sure that 2011 is different. I want to live my life the way I want to live my life. There are only three things that I really love to do. 1. Be around my girlfriend Kameele, my family and my friends. 2. Draw, animate and create art. And 3. Play video games. I want to one day have a job that will let me do these things as often as I want. I know this will take longer than one year, but I want this year to be the turning point in achieving this goal.

Tomorrow will be the first day of my mission. I have several goals I hope to achieve and I will achieve. I want as many people to read this as I can get for a couple reasons. First off I know I’m not the only person who feels this way and maybe what I do could help others. My other reason is if I fail at this I want it to be public. I am completely serious about this and if I fail, I’m epic failing.

Tomorrow I will have my list of goals as well as a picture of myself. One of my main goals is to lose weight so I am going to take a picture of myself everyday. I will document everything from drawings, to jobs I applied for, to even what I eat that day. Hopefully whoever reads this won’t see the same face a year from now as they do today. I’m hoping for the best because if this goes right, I will be a different person 366 days from today. Have fun tonight, and I’ll see you tomorrow night. Happy new year!



akajessramsey said...

I think this is really brave. And I can't believe how parallel I feel to everything you've said beginning to end. This upcoming year is going to be something very serious for me. I feel like I'm at the event horizon by the end of the year. I've already started working towards my one goal of Blazer Show, but I have a long way to go with everything else. It's time for change. We're going to have to condition ourselves on how to survive physically and emotionally this day and age. We can do this. I'm totally in. Respect to you Kieran.

ChantaeOliver said...

I felt the same way you did about a year ago. The Art Institute is a draining place to graduate from. And I know what I'm about to say will probably make a lot of people groan in disagreement (because I felt the same way not long ago myself)...I had turned my back on God and my faith, and everything just kept going wrong. I had no control. But now I've let it go, and gave it to God. I pray and go to church, and my life has completely changed for the better. Whenever you feel alone, know that God is there for you. And if you need a friend, keep me in mind. I've known you since the 9th grade, that's officially 10 years ago. So feel free to call or write anytime, I'm not far.